When Control Slips Away 

We’re in the middle of a snow and ice storm in Louisville, KY. On Sunday as the snow started falling, my fears began to surface. Inescapability. Scarcity. Vulnerability. As the snow fell, and fell, and fell, those fears only grew louder. I began working with the fears of not being able to get out, not being able to get my needs met, losing electricity, not being able to do anything about it.

Feeling the feelings that come up when losing control isn’t easy. It asks us to sit with discomfort without a clear resolution. It forces us to confront our vulnerability, to acknowledge how little we can control, and to accept that sometimes, the only action we can take is to simply feel. When I resist losing control, I notice how that resistance amplifies my discomfort. I feel it in the anxiety in my chest, the knots in my stomach. The urge to jump out of my skin. The powerlessness I feel in not being able to control or make things happen.

What Does the Storm Bring Up for You?

This winter storm has immobilized many of us, keeping us home as the world outside is blanketed in snow and ice. What does it bring up for you? Scarcity—not enough money, food, time? Fear of being stuck? Fear of being alone? Flashbacks to times of isolation? Feeling unsafe or out of control?

Self-Exploration Questions

1. What fears arise when you feel out of control?

2. How do these fears show up in your body?

3. What stories or beliefs do you notice connected to these fears?

4. How do you typically respond to discomfort or uncertainty?

5. What might it look like to sit with your emotions rather than resist them?

6. What small practices help you find trust or calm in challenging moments?

7. Who could you ask for help, and what holds you back from doing so?

Still in the Storm

As you sit with your storms—literal or metaphorical—what might help you anchor in this moment? A deep breath, a quiet pause, or simply naming the fears that arise? You don’t need all the answers; sometimes, the act of staying present is enough.

Further Reading

• Chödrön, P. (2019). Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change. Shambala.

• Beattie, M. (1996). Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul. HarperCollins.

• Porges, G. (2017) The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology). W.W. Norton & Company.